Friendships

I had a birthday last week and went out for dinner with my rekindled Adelaide Hills friends, and Jasmine and her best friend. Eight of us altogether. I sat there next to my oldest, recently rediscovered, best friend and we looked out at the world like we used to, shoulder to shoulder. We went to our last B & S (Bachelors’ and Spinsters’) ball when I was 36 and she was 33. As we were getting ready she looked at me and said, ‘Hilary, why on earth do we put ourselves through this?’ but we used to waltz in there like the belles of the ball full of hilarity and bravado and own the place. We weren’t the most beautiful ones, weren’t Cinderellas, nor were meant to be, we were the ones having the most fun, needing nothing from anyone but to share in our laughter. We went out bravely and from time to time we would find each other again for familiarity and recouperation.

Jas and Caz were talking to Molly about their friendship and I heard Molly say, ‘Yes, Polly and I are like you, we could live together. We’d be fine,’ and Polly turned round and said, ‘No, we’d clash,’ and they would, they do, but they clash like family. They clash like friends who are proud of their unique and comfortable disharmony. 

Molly has a problem with being left with the responsibility for making everyone’s decisions. She get’s it from husband Max and from Polly. Jas said, ‘Yes, I get like that with Caz sometimes, especially if we go away on holiday. I can make all the decisions about what we do for a while and then suddenly I just need to hand it over for a bit.’

‘So,’ says Caz, ‘I tell Jas that this is what we are doing today, and then I quietly add, “Is that all right?” ‘

‘I just need a day off from deciding and then I don’t mind doing it again,’ says Jas.

Max and Pax like each other but don’t talk that much, what with the overwhelmment of female conversation whenever we all get together. There are some very talkative ones amongst us.

I sometimes wonder why there is such an investment in romantic relationships, marriages and such, in our society when frienships can be such fabulous things.